Goals: Failures and Successes

What better time to talk about goals than on the Chinese New Year.


Does the word goal make you cringe inwardly a little? Sometimes I feel like it attaches meaning to something that I don’t really want to do, but must get done, like my statistics homework that I’m pushing out to do tomorrow instead of right now.

Why? Because I attach a higher priority to my writing. Although learning and understanding how it applies to psychology is an important skill and a required course to complete my long-haul hopes and dreams, I L-O-V-E to write. Writing hits that feel-good receptor.

I bet you know what this segue is leaning towards.

If you guessed running, you get a virtual fist bump. 

Let’s just say that goals aren’t for dreamers. Don’t get me wrong, this is a great stepping stone towards the “G” word, and do I ever like to dream with the best of them.

Unfortunately, for the dreamer, like myself, I have to jump off the cloud and take my Care Bear tushy down to my reality like (quick side note: I imagine the Care Bears every time I think about what it would be like to live in the clouds if  they weren’t really made out of water droplets like the scientists say), “Why do I smell ____?” or the Majority question in the Haros house, “What are we having for dinner?” As if I know the answer, SMH. I wouldn’t use that shortened form unless I actually did that, which I often do. I think it’s equivalent to the eye roll for teenagers. We parents have our own language. We shake our heads for a myriad of reasons, but I won’t discuss that today.

Goals require action…

Whatever your stance is on goals, there is no side stepping option available here. Goals are for those who are all about action. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like talking about something unless I’m actually going to do something about it.

As of late running has once again grabbed at my soul.

Running is the adrenaline rush, the breathing in and out, the one step after the other, the feeling of the sun on my skin…the untapped potential just beneath the surface of my very being.

This is the place where I feel like anything and everything can happen…when I truly believe that ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.

Let me rephrase that. ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE THROUGH GOD. I know that without Him in my corner, I wouldn’t be able to do the things I have been fortunate enough to do.

In regards to that rush, this is how I feel when I run. If that rush could be bottled up and stored, no one would ever have to experience those lows, but then again how could we ever enjoy those highs? One is not possible without the other.

With all that said, it’s time to prove to myself that I can run a 100-mile race.

I know it can be done and I also know from prior experience that it can’t always be done.

Did you see what I said there? Let me say it one more time. Just because you want something bad enough, even if God has you, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll get it.

It took many failures to get me there. My ego was knocked to the curb and my vulnerabilities exposed. Humbled much? Too many times to count.

Greenlights weren’t happening when I attempted the 100 mile race at Zion 100, Keys 100, Wild Sebastian, Daytona 100, and Atacama Extreme 100.

I don’t have a great track record of 100- mile distance finishes, but it shows that I tried. In my life time, I have completed the distance twice. Those finishes meant a whole lot more.

The same goes for my writing. There were several rejections, before my essays were accepted. Once again, those failures made my successes that much sweeter.

How did I get from point A to point B?

I didn’t give up. I kept pushing because I knew I could get it done.

At this point, I feel like I’m giving myself a pep talk. Hope this speaks to you in some way.

I will continue to chip away at my running milestones just as I did before I completed my first 100. How? One step at a time.

If you are a writer, how do you get there? One word at a time.

# # #

Just like any goal, you have to visualize the outcome.

Close your eyes.

Now bask in the feeling of your accomplishment.

Can you see yourself there? Holding that buckle? Or that diploma or that finished book in print?

Whatever goal you have. It’s in you. This is what I have to remind myself on the daily. I am my own roadblock at times. Those negative thoughts are like land mines.

In my own experience, I notice that every time I take my eyes off a goal, I step on a mental land mine and that outcome is never pretty. The moment I do, everything seems to go wrong. One catastrophe to the next.

I’m now ever slowly learning that I need to say a prayer to God asking Him for help and guidance. I also ask my friends to lift me up with their positive vibes. Both of these options are provided to all of us. You just have to ask.

Interested in goal achieving?

Here are some easy steps to follow. If you’re already in the middle of these steps. Let me know how it’s going.

1. Create a goal. Write down your why. Make sure it’s big enough to get you out of bed every day.

2. Write down the steps it will take to get you there. Work backwards from the finish to the beginning. This will put in a different head space.

3.  Ask others who may have accomplished your goal. Just ask and I guarantee they will help you out.

4. Get to it and accomplish your goal. I’ll be cheering you on.

Turning Intentions into Action

A couple of days ago, I typed THE END to my first draft of a novel. I have been working on this particular piece for about 2 years. It’s gone through several revisions before I even wanted to call it a first draft. It is one thing to say you will write a book, and quite another to say THE END.

Good Intentions

We are all filled with good intentions, like when you tell a friend you’re going to drop by but just haven’t had the chance, or you told your child that you would take them to the park only to let the day slip away. It’s in our actions and not by our words that we change those intentions into a reality.

To Finish or Not

Remember that not all things need finishing. There was a time in my life when all I wanted was to speak French fluently. I switched colleges and took a class in beginner/intermediate French. I felt pretty confident until I settled in my seat. In French grammar, I excelled. Conjugate a verb? Sure thing. Translate a sentence from English to French? I’m your gal. Speak so as not to sound like a newbie? Big-time fail. What I didn’t realize was that I signed for a class filled with Mormon return missionaries. They had spent two years in the country fully immersed in the language and culture. The closest I came to French culture was escargot.

Repetez-vous, s’il vous plaît,” and “Je ne comprehend pas,” were my go-to statements. By the end of the week, I concluded that I could not keep up with the class. I could get through the grammar, but the oral portion was graded heavily. I withdrew from the class and still Je parle un peu Français. Yes, of course, I could rekindle the flame to learn French fluently, but it’s no longer a high priority.

*Since this post, I have rekindled the flame to become fluent, thanks to Duolingo.

Redirect and Prioritize

It’s essential to list your intentions and determine what we will or won’t finish. We need to be completely honest with ourselves because if we can’t be honest with ourselves, who else can do that for us?

Turning Intentions into Action- "You are what you do, not what you say you'll do."- Carl Gustov Jung


My daughter is a list maker. She gets easily frustrated with herself when she can’t finish her TODAY list. My word of caution is not to over-extend yourself. Writing too many things down will have you beating yourself up at the end of the day. Create a list for just TODAY. You can keep track of the things that matter today and not what mattered yesterday. Be intentionally here today, and you will finish.

If you have something high on your list that requires more days to finish, write down what you can do today. Change your intentions into finished goals. I know you can, but most importantly, remind yourself daily that you know you can.