TBH

Thoughts from a 40-Something

When I was 15 years old, I thought 30-year-olds were old AF. This is when summers lasted forever and an hour felt like 10. And the age when I thought what I wore would make or break my day with the in-crowd. Those days are long gone. I’m well past 30, but I feel like I’m in my 20’s trying to figure life out with the rest of you. Did I know what I wanted to be when I was younger? Yeah. Did it turn out that way, heck no.

But when I look in the mirror I have to come to terms with my reality. I’m no longer a youthful age. I have to work harder to keep the weight off, my vision is going, my boobs are saggy, I’m getting a varicose vein in my left calf (yuk) and I’m getting those annoying skin tags. To top it off, there’s white strands of hair popping out all over my head. I mean what in the freaking heck.

If anyone told me this is how I would be experiencing life in my 40’s I would have refused to believe it. “That’s not going to be me,” I would yell and run in the opposite direction.

What I’ve Learned

The older I get the less I know. I’m not afraid to tell my children that I don’t know the answer. I am a store of knowledge on a plethora of topics, but seriously, I’m not going to let my children down later when they find out, “Mom didn’t know what the heck she was talking about.” I am a fallible human being and the sooner my children understand the better.

A lot of things in our lives do not remain the same. Think about your life and how your thoughts have changed. Over the course of a lifetime, there is a shifting that will occur. If you haven’t already, you will experience these shifts in your ideas, thoughts, perceptions and beliefs.

These things can change over a lifetime or they can change overnight. It’s dependent on life experiences and the people we interact with. I am constantly humbled by my interactions with those whom I have had the pleasure and displeasure of meeting. I can say for the majority of my life, I have steered clear of people who bring me down.

The wonderful humans I have met along the way have continually filled me up with positive lessons and have led me to other positive people I wouldn’t have otherwise met. Positivity breeds positivity. Whereas negative folks will lead you on a soul crushing trajectory. Steer clear of them. Sure, you can be a positive influence on them, but don’t allow them to gain a foothold in yours. It’s draining and not worth the trouble. The only thing I can say is pray and don’t stop praying for them.

My mother is a negative Nancy. She still lives with us and I know it’s only going to get worse as she ages, since she’s already showing signs of Dementia. She is not without her good days, but on average her energy is not anything I want to adopt. I do not want to end up like her in thinking nothing will ever be good enough. I want to be remembered by my children, and friends for more good things than bad and writing is the way I plan to accomplish that legacy.

Conclusion

I can’t run away from myself physically or mentally. I can’t run from my past and I can’t run from aging. It is all part of life and I’m learning to accept it. When I am faced with the negative side of aging I’m learning to slow down and appreciate all of me. I am what I am and I wouldn’t change a thing because my fallible self has made me the strong woman I am today. When the shallow parts of myself creep in, I have to tell her to shut the eff up and sing Andy Grammar’s song, “Damn It Feels Good To Be Me.”

If there’s one take away from my post, I hope you will take a look at your life and imagine where you want to be in the next five years. Visualize your older self in the not so far off future. My prayer is that you’ll be living your best life and still reading my blog. Let go of the things you can’t control and live your best life.

If you enjoyed this post, I hope you will like and share it with someone who may benefit from this. Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you’ll drop by again soon.